Bite Sized
by Sandy Black and Vicky Lupin
Summary: Remus asked Sirius and Harry to clean up a bit., an they turn themselves into....DUN DUN DUN....CHIBIS! What WILL happen? Warning:May cause seizures due to mass insanity and stupidity! COMPLETE!
1. Chibitize!

Akutenshi~SQUEE! NEW IDEA!  
  
Youkai~Remember, we don't own it! DO NOT SUE!  
  
~Chappie One~  
  
Remus Lupin sat in his favorite chair in his new home. Yes, you heard right, NEW HOME. Remus isn't as poor as he appears. In fact, he's LOADED! I mean loaded like fat man on burritos! He's friggin RICH! He just sees no need to buy new things unless totally necessary...which is why he went out a bought himself a new house, which was almost mansion sized, a new wardrobe, complete with robes to complement his eyes, and enough books to keep him entertained for years.  
  
But, with every good thing you get, you get a negativity. His best friend, and only surving Marauder besides himself, Sirius Black had been cleared of all charges a few months ago. He had planned to have Harry live with him...but had no house. So, while Sirius was having a house built, he offered to let him stay with him. That was mistake number one.  
  
Mistake number two, letting Harry, whom was now 15, stay with Sirius. Not that Remus didn't like Harry, but the boy was too much like his father. And whenever James and Sirius were within a mile of each other, things tended to get a little...explosive, persay.  
  
But, back to the story. Remus was sitting in his favorite chair in his study. He was curled up with a book. And not just any nook, but a book that Hermione wouldn't be able to finish without a few gallons of coffee.   
  
But, moving on, laying on the small table next to him lay a cup of tea, loaded with sugar, and a few economy size bags of some kind of muggle candy he liked. Hersheys kisses to be exact. But don't worry about it. Our furry friend won't end up all fat and ugly. He could sit on his butt for a week eating nothing but sugar, and gain only a pound or so. Yup, I know some of you girls are jealous. But don't be mad 'cause he's got a faster metabolism! But for the rest of you who like that image, please read on! ^__^  
  
Remus turned the page in the chapter containing information on veelas. He picked up his cup of tea to take a small sip, as it was still kind of hot. But, as he raised it to his lips...BOOM! A crash came from upstairs, signalling that  
  
A)Sirius had fallen out of bed  
  
B)Harry had pushed Sirius out of bed  
  
C)The two were cooking up havoc  
  
Remus, not expecting this, was startled and spilled his tea all over his favorite pants. He growled and dried them with a spell on his was down to the livingroom.  
  
As he stepped in, he gave a squeak of horror. The cusions on the couch were out of place, there was mud on the floor, and his walls now were a dingy olive instead of the usual navy and sky blue. "SIRIUS BLACK AND HARRY POTTER, GET OUT HERE!," he yelled.  
  
Harry's locks of raven hair emerged from behing the black couch. Sirius long tangles came from in the closet. "What have I told you two about making a mess?," whined Remus. Harry and Sirius creeped out more, expecting him to yell at them, but instead getting pitiful whining.  
  
"Calm down, Remskie, we'll clear it up," said Sirius, grinning at the use of Remus' nickname. Remus scowled at him. His mother had used that name when he was 4, and it STILL haunted him! "Yesm well, please keep it down...Oh! And mop the floor. There's a special cleaning solution in the closet. DO NOT TAKE THE BOTTLE ON THE LEFT!," he warned," It's dangerously....dangerous..."  
  
  
  
Remus stalked up the stairs before the two could protest. "Nice going, Padfoot," said Harry, pouting. "ACK! You wound me!," mocked Sirius, holding his hand over his heart. The two chuckled and made their way to cleaning. First the mud, then the walls, afterwards the kitchens, and finally...they were going to mop.  
  
The two were at the closet staring at two identical bottles. "Which one were we supposed to take?," saked Sirius. "Which are we NOT supposed to take?," said Harry. The two did eeny meeny miney mo to fugure it out, picking the one on the left....Uh-oh... O.O''  
  
The two were beginning to mop with the sweet smelling liquid. Sirius moved his mop too quickly and a little of the solution splattered onto Harry and himself.   
  
Their skin burned and their insides twisted. Before they surrendered to darkness, Harry let out a piercing scream.  
  
  
  
Remus had been reading silently again when a scream filled his ears. With one swift movement, he got up and ran downstairs. "Harry? Sirius? Har-WOAH!"  
  
Remus had entered the kitchen to see two people on his floor. Two rather...tiny people. Chibis to be precise. One with messy black hair and oversized glasses. He looked no older than about 2. Another one lay next to him. His one with shoulder length black hair in a ponytail. This one also no older than two. Both of them adorable!  
  
"Awwwwww...cute," said Remus, admiring the cuteness of the two on his floor. Then he remembered something. THE BOTTLES! Remus ran to the closet to see the left one missing. "Sirius, you idiot," he sighed.  
  
When he returned, he found the two small people waking up. "Wemmie?," said the smaller chibi, which is Harry. He noticed that his voice was higher and...squeaky and demented? "WHAT'S WONG WITH MY-AHHHHHHH!" Harry had spotted Sirius next to him. "Harry, what-....what the hell! CURSE YOU WEMUS! CUUUURRRRSE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUU!," howled the long haired chibi, having goten a look at himself in the glass of a nearby window.  
  
Remus gave them a look of sympathy. "Well....at least your cute...," he said, trying to calm them. Sirius, being the peacock he is, shut up and began to admire himself. "I am cute, aren't I?," he said pompously. Harry rolled his huge green eyes. "Siwius, you-..aw hell, I can't even talk wight!....DAMNIT!," cursed the small chibi, fuming, although looking quite adorable doing it.  
  
Remus had to stifle a laugh. Come on you two. It's time ou-NOOOOOOOOOO!" Remus wailed as Sirius dunked him hand into the bucket of liquid. Within seconds, Remus shrank and was, just like the others, a chibi.  
  
Chibi Remus fumed. "WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! I WAS PERFECTLY FINE UP THERE!" Sirius sniggered as Harry silently envied him for being able to speak correctly. Remus has shrunk down to the size of a 2 year old. His light brown hair tousled cutely, with locks sometimes getting into his startling amber eyes. Remus, however, was exceptionally small and could speak properly, unlike the others.  
  
  
  
Harry was jolted out of his thoughts as Remus tackled Sirius. The two chibis wrestled. Remus was choking Sirius, and Sirius was....turning blue. Harry, following his chibi instincts, sat down and watched, quietly sucking on his tiny thumb.   
  
Despite his size, Remus was winning the battle. Oh, yes, you heard right....Let's leave them here....JUST KIDDING! ^__^  
  
"Um...guysh," slurred Harry, still sucking his thumb," I tink we should shtop now." Remus, finally tired, let Sirius go. Sirius sat still, trying to get his normal, pale color back.  
  
"What do we do now?,"asked Sirius in his cute chibi voice. "I dunno," replied Harry and Remus in unison. Then, Remus' eyes lit up. "LET'S GO TURN SNAPE INTO A CHIBI TOO!," he suggested. Sirius and Harry cheered.  
  
  
  
~End of Chappie One~  
  
VOTE!:  
  
Should the guys-  
  
A)Turn Snape into a chibi  
  
B)Turn Snape into their "Mommy"  
  
C)Just go to Hogwarts and act cute to get presents  
  
YOU DECIDE! REVIEW AND OUT IN YOUR VOTE! 


	2. Mommy's Home!

Chibi Harry~Wemember, Aku and Youkai dun own us. We belong to J. K Rowling. ^__^  
  
Chibi Sirius~On to da stowy! ^________^  
  
Chibi Remus~ YAY-ness! ^.^ Let's see what the people voted for!  
  
~Chappie Two~  
  
With a pop, Remus Sirius and Harry apperated to Hogwarts. Yes, I know there's something wrong there. But, A) I say Harry can apperate and B) I say that you can apperate to Hogwarts. If you don't like it...then you need some help...  
  
The three appeared in Dumbledore's office, where the headmaster and-OMG! NOT ON THE DESK! Albus had Minerva on the desk, snogging the daylights out of her. "Ah! My poow Chibi eyes!," screamed Harry, trying to scratch his eyes out, but failed as he forgot to take off his glasses.  
  
Albus looked up and stuttered. "Umm....can I help you little boys?," he said, pushing Minerva out of the door, locking it behind her, and blushing the whole time.  
  
Sirius couldn't help but laugh. Harry whined about his poor eyes. Remus...well, he was being Remus.  
  
"Sir, it's us," Sirius said in his cute chibi voice. "Um...Us who?," asked Dumbledore, still not knowing what was going on. "It's me, Hawwy! Hawwy Pottew! DAMNIT! Why can't I talk wight!?!"  
  
Harry fumed again, still looking cute. Albus smiled, laughter flooding his eyes. "And who are you, little guy?," he asked the brown haired child. Remus looked up at him with big amber eyes. "It's me, Wemus!...OH GOD, IT'S CONTAGIOUS!"  
  
Sirius was now on the floor, alughing in a way that only a chibi could. "And you, little boy?," Albus said to Sirius. Sirius stood up proudly. "I am Siwius Owion Black, at you bettew not laugh, Albus!" Sirius had become totally serious (damn that pun) when Dumbledore almost made a joke about his....current state.  
  
"How-HAHAHAH-Did you-BWAHAHAHAHAHA-Get this way?-.....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!," said Albus, not able to hold in his laughter. He was in his office. He just got caught snogging his best professor by two former students and a current student who just happened to have turned into chibis.  
  
"Well," began Harry, resisting the urge to run for a blankie,"Wemus asked us to clean up a bit, because Siwius and I made a bit of a mess. But, when we were mopping the floow, we used the wong bottle, and got turned itno chibi-thingies." Harry's chibi instincts took over and he stuck his thumb into his mouth, looking up at Albus with huge, adorable green eyes. A sight too cute for the average human to handle.  
  
"Then," began Remus sourly," Sirius thought it was only faiw-..FAIR that I be a chibi too," said Remus. The chibi instincts began to take over, and he pouted, giving Albus the puppy eyes.  
  
Albus sent a look of amusement at Sirius, who grinned cutely. "Well, boys, it appears to me that you'll need a caretaker until this wears off. Can't have you getting into any trouble, can I?," said Albus, smirking. "But, who would be stupid enough to do that?," asked Sirius. "Oh," said Albus,"You'd be amazed what some will do...given the right incentive..."  
  
Albus and the three chibis, who were currently sucking their thumbs quietly, walked down to the dungeons. Albus knocked twice and gave a password. "Sirius smells," he said. Now, we all know who would use a password like that....Severus Snape of course! ^__^  
  
The Potions Master answered the door moodily. "What NOW, ALbus? I'm a little busy....now...." Severus trailed off as he caught sight of the three little people beside his mentor. He smirked a little.  
  
"Why, Albus, I knew you and Minnie had a thing, but I didn't know you got THAT far with her?," he said. He apparently thought that they had done the "bad thing" and that these were their kids.   
  
"Oh no...This is Remus." "Hi Sev," said Remus, puting his thumb back in his mouth as soon as he was done. "Here's Sirius." "Hewwo, Snapey old boy," said Sirius grinning madly. "And Harry." "Umm...hewwo Pwofessor...Hehe," said Harry, shaking with fear at the now giant Potions Master.  
  
Severus could only stare down at them. Then, a smile broke out on his face. No, not a sneer. A genuine smile of mirth and happiness...Woah...Snape must've goten into the sugar stash...  
  
"Oh, this is rich!," he said, cracking up into gales of laughter," LUPIN, POTTER, AND BLACK HAVE GONE CHIBI!"   
  
Remus glared at him. Sirius was prepared to attack. Harry sneered at him. "Shut up Snape, you....you...FEMALE!," yelled Sirius, not knowing what else to call the greasy haired man.  
  
Snape's laughter stopped as a painful feeling took over. Nothing like Crucio, but something similar. "Severus...are you okay?," asked Albus, seeing the pained look on Snape's face.  
  
Severus could tell he was going to pass out any second. But, he had one last thing he wanted to say. "I hate....you all," he slurred. And with an unelegant moan, he gave in to the darknes.  
  
"Severus," came a caring voice," Severus...lad, can you hear me?" Severus cracked open one eye to see Poppy Pomphrey. 'I must be in the hospital wing,' he thought. He sat up groggily and opened both eyes, groaning as he saw the three chibis and Albus.  
  
"What the hell do you want?," he asked. 'Hold on...what the hell is wrong is wrong with my voice?,' he thought. "What the hell?!," he said, grabbing his neck,"And what the hell is-" Severus' eyes almost popped out of his head as he caught sight of himself in a mirror hanging on the wall...Or rather...HERself...Eep...  
  
Severus Antonio Snape no longer looked like his normal self. He looked more like Mariah Carey. His hair was now a shiny, straight sea of black that flowed down to his waist. HER waist. We'll say her from now on, okay?  
  
Anyways, HER hair flowed down to her waist. Followed by nicely curved hips and long, thin legs. Her face wasn't lined with lines of anger, as the old Severus face was. The skin was smooth and unblemished. Placid, pale cheeks and rose red lips. These traits matched the obsidian eyes.  
  
"WHAT THE F@#$!? WHY AM I A...A..A" Severus couldn't even finish her statement. It was to painful to even speak of her...condition...  
  
Sirius broke out laughing. "Snape is a SHEMALE! SPREAD THE WORD!" Harry merely took his thumb out of his mouth and muttered the word "shemale" and produced a small giggle. Remus grinned and said,"It appears that MISS Snape is having a hard time talking. Hmm, MISS Snape?"  
  
Severus turned to the three chibis and glared at them. And, just to clarify, female Snape's glare is even SCARIER than male Snape's glare. Hell, it's scarier than VOLDEMORT! The three chibis shut up immediately. Harry whimpered, Sirius shivered, and Remus hid behind Albus. "Siri did it!," he yelled from behind his old headmaster.  
  
Severus' eyes turned to Albus. "I expect that I shall be turned back immediately, correct?," she asked. Albus shook his head gravely. "We...We don't know what Sirius did to turn you into a woman...So...we can'tr reverse it."  
  
Severus was about to blow. No, not in the explosion sense. But in a way that most would classify as a PMS rage session. "So," she hissed, trying to control the fury building up inside her,"...What shall I do until then?"  
  
Albus' eyes flickered with amusement. "Well...the boys do need a caretaker...which is what I had originally planned before this..." Severus shook her head. "No. I refuse." Albus smirked. "But, I do believe that SOMEONE owes me a little favor for covering for them at the staff party one year when they got DRUNK and destroyed Professor Sprouts mandrakes," he whispered menacingly.  
  
Severus scowled. "You devious old maniac," she hissed. "Fine....WHATEVER!" "Good," said Albus," Besides, this will give you all a chance to get along better."   
  
With that Albus and Poppy walked out, leaving Severus alone with the chibis. He glared at Sirius, who glared back. But, Severus couldn't help but chuckle as the small chibi glared adorabley. "Well then, come. We must go to my quarters," she said, getting up quickly. She stumbled a little, still not used to having flesh in some different places on her now-female body.  
  
Remus giggled. "Yes, Mommy," he said cutely. Severus stopped in midstep. "Did you just call me MOMMY, Lupin?," she snarled. "Yup. Sure did, MOMMY," he said. Harry giggled. "I'm hungry. CAn we eat now, MOMMY," Harry said, provoking Severus. Sirius caught on. "MOMMY, can I have some candy?," he whined.  
  
Severus didn't even turn around to glare at them. She just kept going. "Albus, you are so dead," she whisspered to herself.  
  
~End of Chappie Two~  
  
Akutenshi~LOL A big TANKIES to all da reviewers who voted for that!  
  
Youkai!YUP! Here's choices for chappie 3!  
  
A)Shemale Severus gets very attached to chibi Harry when he has a nightmare and she comforts him.  
  
B)Shemale Severus gets very attached to chibi Remus when he gets sick and she takes care of him.  
  
C)Shemale Severus gets very attached to chibi Sirius when hurts himself and she heals him.  
  
Chibi Sirius/Remus/Harry~ VOTE PWEASE! ^________^ 


	3. Remmy Needs A Barf Bucket!

Akutenshi~Well, I have counted the votes.  
  
Youkaitenshi~And recounted.  
  
Chibi Sirius~So hewe it is! ^.^  
  
Chibi Remus~Cooliez! ^_^  
  
Chibi Harry~ ::sucks thumb::...yay...  
  
~Chappie Three~  
  
Severus was now laying down on HER bed, totally exhausted. All day, she chased chibis around her quarters, telling them not to break stuff or get into trouble. It was totally USELESS! Chibi instincts never fail! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
....Anyways, as Severus lay there, the chibis lay on another bed that she'd transfigured from a chair. They lay there, sleeping peacefully, as it was 9:00 p.m., and chibis usually go to sleep early.  
  
She looked over at them, amazed at how adorable they were. Remus had always looked innocent and surprisingly young, despite his greying hair. But now, with a small boy in his place, he seemed only slightly different. More carefree and not so constrained. His tawny hair was tousled in an adorable fashion. He had a button nose, and he was very tiny. But, best of all were his eyes. Huge amber orbs that ceased to dim and were too cute when put under the right usage.  
  
Then came Harry. Despite Severus' loathing for the boy, he had to say that Potter must have been an adorable child. Messy black hair, small nose, and sparkling green eyes. His cheeks were rosy and his smile so warm, even though he usually had his thumb in his mouth, so you couldn't tell. Harry was a very small chibi, though not smaller than Remus.  
  
Finally came Sirius. His shoulder length hair tied back and his devious smile. He was tiny, as the rest were, but the biggest of the bunch. His navy blue eyes were always shining and he was inhumanly adorable, just like the others. Severus couldn't help but laugh.  
  
'For a bunch of troublesome chibis, they're okay...,' she thought. With a contented sigh, she nodded off into a semi-fitful slumber.  
  
"MOMMY, I'm huuuuuungry!," said Sirius playfully. Severus glared at him. "Then I shall get you something to eat. Now where are Potty and Wolf-boy? I have to make sure they don't die of starvation," she hissed. Sirius grinned, knowing he'd hit a nerve with the mommy crack. "Harry's changing his clothes and Remus is coming."  
  
Remus, in all his chibi-ish glory, stumbled from the bathroom. Harry walked up behind Sirius, his thumb already placed in his mouth.  
  
Severus sneered. "Potter, must you insist on sucking your thumb constantly?," she asked. Harry took his thumb out of his mouth and stared at it. "I dunno why I do it. It's like an sort of impulse...Oh well." Harry put on his cutest chibi face. Like this: ^_^ and then he put his thumb back into his mouth.  
  
Remus gave a small groan of pain. "What's wrong, Lupin?," asked Severus. "My stomach hurts...," little Lupin whined,"...and I don't feel so good..." Severus just glared at him. "Well, I'll just take you to Madame Pomphrey later. Can you make it through breakfast?" The small chibi nodded. But he knew that he was lying.  
  
It was summer, so instead of eating in the Great Hall, they ate in the kitchens. Sirius was eating his way through bacon sandwiches while Harry and Severus nibbled on toast. Remus just sat there, his arms wrapped around his stomach, rocking back and forth.  
  
Severus swallowed a piece of toast as he noticed the small boy's actions. He hadn't eaten yet and was looking slightly green. "Lupin?....Remus, are you okay," she asked, now worried. The small boy looked up at him. "Uh-uh. Can we go see Poppy now?...Pwease?," he asked. His eyes shined with tears, showing that he was in pain.  
  
Severus nodded and got up, along with Harry, who helped Remus off of his chair. "Come on, Black," said Severus," The wolfboy needs to go to the Infirmary."  
  
With that, the four left. Sirius had his small arm around Remus' tiny frame as they walked. Harry stayed on Remus other side, sucking his thumb innocently. But, suddenly, Remus stopped walking and fell to his knees. "Lupin, get up. Only a few more flights of stairs," ordered Severus, her patients growing thin. But, little Remus shook his head. "Dizzy. Can't walk anymore....Can you carry me?"  
  
Severus looked at the chibi as if he had grown another head. "Lupin, you must be running a high fever if you think I'll CARRY you." "Pwease," said Remus, tears flowing down his small face,"....It hurts..." Severus looks at the chibi with a mix of disgust and pity.  
  
"Oh...fine!," she screamed. She picked up the sobbing boy and began walking again. His sobbing soon subsided into occasional small hiccups, sounding like a small kitten calling for its mother....CUTE! ^__^  
  
Severus couldn't help but worry for the small boy, no matter how much she tried to hide it. She had his head, hanging over her shoulder while she rubbed his back gently, trying to calm his hiccups.  
  
"Ummm...Pwofessow...I don't tink you should do that," said Harry quietly. He noticed Remus' face was growing a bit greener as Snape walked faster.  
  
"And why not, Mister Potter?," she hissed. "Because, I tink Remus is gonna be sick..." Severus held out Remus in front of her, surveying the small boy as soon as they were outside the infirmary doors.  
  
"Don't be daft Potter," she said, not taking her eyes off of the chibi in her arms," He already is-" "Blaaargh," came a sound from Remus mouth.  
  
  
  
Time, at that moment stopped. A chunky, pinkish green liquid poured from chibi Remus' small mouth onto shemale Severus' black robed body. Severus' eyes went wide as the child vomited all over her. Sirius gave in to a fit of giggles and Harry was on the floor laughing, his thumb no longer of his concern.  
  
The door to the infirmary opened to reveal Poppy. "My, Severus, what's all the....noise....," she trailed as she saw the small brown haired boy wipe a trail of vomit from his slightly green face. "Sorry Sev," he whispered, tears of pain still in his eyes.  
  
Severus, despite what had just happened, gave a warm smile. "It's okay," she whispered in his ear,"Just calm down, and let Poppy take care of you. I promise, it'll be okay. Can you do that for me?" Remus nodded and let Poppy take him into the infirmary, a shocked Harry and Sirius following a rather messy Severus.  
  
  
  
"Well," began Poppy,"...it appears he has a touch of some type of werewolf illness. The chibitizing potion must have aggravated his lycanthropy cells and caused him to become ill. You'll have to give him one of these pills," she indicated to a bottle of greenish-blue pills in her hand," twice a day. So, every twelve hours should be good. Make sure he stays in bed, drinks lots of fluids, and does absolutely NO MAGIC...And Severus?" "Yes Poppy?," she said.  
  
Poppy looked at her calmly. "I know you don't like them very much, but Remus needs to be taken care of... If you're not going to be nice for Albus, do it for him." Severus looked down at her feet, embarrassed. "I think I may have already become a little attached to the little runt. All of them, in fact. But Remus...Don't worry, I'll take good care of him." Poppy smiled. "You know, Sev, as a female you seem so much nicer," she joked. Severus mock glared at her. But, she couldn't help but burst out laughing. "I guess so," she said.  
  
Deciding to leave, Severus picked up a sleeping Remus and called Harry and Sirius. "Come, we're going back to my quarters now. Remus has to go to sleep."  
  
  
  
"But I don't WANNA take icky pills," came a stuffy, whiny voice. Remus was laying in bed, propped up by a tiny pillow. His nose was red and stuffy, his head hurt, he had a fever, and he was nauseous. All in all, it was horrible. Not to mention the fact that a sick chibi is a whiny chibi indeed.  
  
"Remus, please STOP arguing and take the damn pills," Severus hissed. The chibi crossed his arms defiantly.  
  
'I may be like the little runt,' thought Severus,'but I won't last long if this keeps up.'  
  
~End of Chappie Three~  
  
REVIEW! ^__^  
  
Chibi Remus~And send me tissues. Achoo! ::sniffle::...Owies... 


	4. Blackmail Material

~Chappie Four~  
  
"Sev!," came a stuffy, childish voice. "Sev! I need a tissue!"  
  
Severus walked into Remus' room to see the chibi lying there, pale as a ghost.  
  
"Lupin...Remus, have you eaten any of the soup I left for you?" "No. It's nasty," the small chibi-thingy replied.  
  
  
  
Severus was on the verge of a breakdown. It had been three days since Remus had gotten sick. He had been running all over the place, taking care of the chibi. Then, of course, he had to watch over Harry and Sirius. And, to make it worse, he was still a SHE!  
  
Severus hadn't been sleeping much, due to Remus' need for lots of care in his current state. So, as you can imagine, Severus was dead on her feet.  
  
  
  
"Remus, you have to eat. It'll make you feel beter," insisted Severus, a note of pleading in his voice.  
  
Remus sniffled and blew his nose before saying,"But everytibe I try to eat, I throw it all back ub." "Well, I'll just have to feed you myself then, won't I?"  
  
At hearing these words, Sirius had an idea. "Hey, Hawwy! I got an idea!," he said excitedly. "What?," asked Harry, taking his eyes away from the window he was staring out of.  
  
"Well, Sevewus just said that he'd have to feed Wemus since he refuses to eat. So, we get a camewa and take pictuwes fow blackmail puwposes!"  
  
Harry gave an evil chibi smirk that could've scared Voldemort silly. "I'm in," he said.  
  
"NO! I wun't eat it!," came a shriek,"STOP IT!" "Will you at least drink some tea?!" "NO!," Remus huffed, crossing his small arms across his chest.  
  
Severus suddenly had an idea. 'I'll take the softer approach,' she thought.  
  
Gently, she lifted Remus out of the bed and placed his on her lap, resting his abnormally hot warm head on her shoulder. Softly, she whispered,"Remus, you have to eat SOMETHING. It'll make you feel better. Please?"  
  
Remus gave a small moan of protest, but gave in when Severus held a spoon full of soup in front of his mouth.   
  
Severus sat there for almost 20 minutes as chbi Remus slowly ate some soup, avopiding another vomit attack.  
  
"Thank you, Sev," said Remus sleepily. The warm soup was taking its effect and puting the sick chibi into a state of warm, content sleep.  
  
"It's okay Remus. Just go to sleep now," Severus whispered softly. "Will you sing me a song?," asked the small chibi.  
  
Severus was usually a cold person, as we all know. But this small chibi had melted his heart in a way no one else could.  
  
"Will it make you feel better?," she asked. "Mmhmm. My mom used to sing to me when I was little," the chibi answered. "Okay. If it'll make you feel better, of course I will."  
  
  
  
And so, Severus sat thaere, rocking the small boy slightly in her thin arms, quietly singing a song.  
  
"Oh, this is rich," came Harry's voice,"He's SINGING to Wemus! Quick, get the camera!"  
  
Sirius quickly came out of the other room, holding a wizarding camera in his hands. "Say cheese, Sevewus," he whispered, taking a few pics.  
  
~End of Chappie Four!  
  
Note~There will only be about two more chappies. I'm gonna write one about them causing trouble and acting totally adorable and the last one about how they "accidently" get turned back. 


	5. Time For Fun

~Trouble In Hogwarts~   
  
"Sev, I want chocolate!"  
  
"Pwofeesow, I'm tiwed! Take me home!"  
  
"MOMMY!"   
  
Severus was officially having the worst summer of his...HER life.  
  
Our wonderful potions master was STILL a woman,. and our three cuties were STILL chibis!...Not that we mind! ^_^   
  
Remus had recovered from his illness a few days ago. Now, he was back to his cute chibi self. Smiles and all! ^-^   
  
Harry and Sirius had taken it upon themselves to make Sev feel as horrible and annoyed as possible. They still hadn't developed those pictures of her singing to an ill Remus, and didn't plan to until PMSshemale Snape went back to her less dangerous form, Snarkypotionsmater Snape.   
  
"SEV!,"shrieked the small werewolf,"SEVVVIIIIIIIIIIIE!"   
  
"WHAT?!,"yelled the frazzled female...teehee. Female Snape is STILL making us laugh uncontrollably...   
  
Remus blinked cutely and put his small thumb in his small mouth and gave small smile.   
  
"I'm hungwy. When do we eat?,"he asked, his huge amber eyes shining in the light, making his cuteness look surprisingly scary.   
  
Severus rubbed her temples and the bridge of her slightly crooked nose.   
  
"If you want to eat now, I shall take you to the kitchens. Maybe we-"   
  
"HARRY! HARRY WHERE ARE YOU?!"   
  
Severus knew those voices. The mudblood and the weasel...  
  
'WHY ARE THEY HERE?!,'she thought.   
  
Soon enough that feeling of pure rage melted into something different...  
  
Into a feeling of pure fear.   
  
'They can't see me like this!..'   
  
"Umm...come now you three...we're going back to my quarters now.."   
  
"But I'm bored MOMMY!,"Sirius said, grabbing the hem of her robes to add drama to his little skit of humor.   
  
"Then I'll find you something to do when we get there. Now, shut up and-"   
  
"Hey! You! Have you seen a kid with black hair and glasses around?"   
  
Ronald Weasley, in all his amazing stupidity, had found them. He now stood right behind our beloved potions master, though he had no clue...   
  
Severus' face went a beet red as she turned to face the bushy haired girl and the freckled boy.   
  
"Umm...n-no. Try-"  
  
"RON!,"squeaked chibi-Harry,"SAVE ME!"   
  
Harry latched onto the redhead's leg and held on for dear life.  
  
"Pwease! Don't leave me hewe! I need...CANDY! I need...TWOUBLE!"   
  
As you can tell, the chibi in him was taking over, as it was in Sirius and Remus.   
  
Ron could only stare down at the small being that had attached itself to him. Hermione giggled a bit.   
  
"H-Harry?,"she managed to ask.  
  
The small boy nodded.   
  
"And Siwius and Wemus awe hewe too...thewe."   
  
Harry pointed to the two small people that stood behind Snape.   
  
"AWWW! They're adorable!,"Hermione said, grabbing the two chibis and huggling them silly.   
  
"Hewmione! Need....TO BWEATH!,"Sirius yelled, his cutie-pie face turning a pale blue from lack of air.   
  
"Yes, pwease!,"Remus squeaked, as if he had inhaled helium.   
  
As Hermione let go and gazed at them adoringly, Ron burst out laughing.   
  
"Harry, mate, what HAPPENED?"   
  
Harry and Sirius launched into the story of how they had gone chibi. For the sake of Harry's already damaged mind, they left out the part with walking in on Dumbledore and McGonagall.  
  
When they got to the part with Professor Snape turning shemale, Ron was in pain from all his laughter.   
  
...But Severus was no where to be seen...  
  
Probably ran away to avoid being laughed at.   
  
"So, what have you been doing all summer?,"Hermione asked.   
  
"Well, I was sick for a while,"Remus explained,"These to jackasses-"  
  
"Remus!,"Hermione said,"That is not proper language for a chibi!"   
  
Remus glared at her.  
  
"Hewmione?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"...Shut up."   
  
Everybody gasped. Why? Because Remus is usually our peaceful little sweety! ^_^...But now he's he's our SNARKY little sweety! ^_^   
  
"Oh Remus,"Hermione said,"this is obviously messing up your mind! Let's sing a peaceful song to help you relax!"   
  
Ron and Harry graoned. Hermione's little ditties of happiness were pure TORTURE!   
  
"I love you, you love me! We're a happy family!,"she sang.  
  
That's when Remus and Sirius cut in.   
  
"-With a loaded handgun and an oozie in my hand! Spray this place 'till you're all dead!"   
  
Ron and Harry laughed at the look on Hermione's face when the two chibis sand their little song.   
  
"Oh come ON! It was funny!,"Sirius squeaked.   
  
"Let's try this,"Hermione said,"A, B, C, D, E, F, G-"  
  
"Get your fat ass off of me!"   
  
Hermione spent her day Trying to get them to sing peaceful happy BABY songs.  
  
...But Sirius and Remus always had other plans.   
  
Eventually, they ditched her and took Ron and Harry to go and have some REAL fun.   
  
...By real fun I mean getting blackmail pics of Dumbledore. ^_^   
  
...But....  
  
Where did Sev go?   
  
~End of Chapter 5~ 


	6. Da End, Mah Peeps!

Sandy~Here, my friends, is the end.  
  
Vicky~WHY?! ::cries::  
  
Sandy~::comforts Vicky~It's okay, V. It's okay...We'll all miss this...  
  
Vicky~::sigh::....Buh-bye...  
  
Chibis~...Bye-byez?...Awwww....::cries::WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Snape~YES! ^______^  
  
Everybody else~o.0....Moving on....  
  
~:~The Final Showdown~:~  
  
Sirius stirred in his bed.  
  
"mphglrrble,"he mumbled incoherently, finding that his voice sounded...deeper.  
  
"Huh?...What the-"  
  
He sat up, realizing that everything now looked...lower.  
  
  
  
With a surprised look on his sexy face, he examined his body in front of the mirror.  
  
He was back!...Well....In adult form! ^__^ Hehe...Moving on....  
  
Sirius was doing backflips, yes backflips, when Remus ran in, once again the tall sexy adult he once was.  
  
"Sirius, I-"  
  
"I'm me again! WEEE!"  
  
Remus quirked an eyebrow.  
  
"Okaaaaay...Shall we go see if Harry-"  
  
As is on cue, Harry ran in, now tall...er-tallER that he had been...Harry, even as a teenager, was still short...Laugh with me people!  
  
"Oh, you turned back too-What is he doing?,"Harry said.  
  
Remus shrugged as Sirius stopped his rather disturbing happy dance.  
  
"Okay....Hey, did Snape turn back?,"Sirius asked.  
  
Remus grinned evilly, as did Harry and Sirius.  
  
"Why don't we go see, hm?,"Harry suggested.  
  
  
  
"Fine by me,"Sirius and Remus said in unison.  
  
~Snape's Quarters~  
  
Severus Snape lay in the large green and black satin clad bed, head covered by sheets.  
  
"Oh SEVVIE!,"came a rather obnoxious, yet smooth, voice,"Wake up, you sod!"  
  
Apparently Sirius had discovered the secret password to Sev's rooms.  
  
"What is it,"came a tired voice from under the sheets.  
  
Without thinking, Sirius whipped the sheets off of the bed...  
  
....  
  
....  
  
....  
  
AND THAT WAS IT! ^_^  
  
....Naw, we won't play you like that! We're not THAT evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!....-Anyways....  
  
...He pulled off the sheets to find Snape, still as much a female as ever.  
  
"He's still a woman!,"Harry exclaimed, bursting into gales of uncontrollable laughter, along with his company, save Sev.  
  
"What do you want?,"Snape hissed, his...HER eyes narrowing at them.  
  
She expected to see chibis, but instead, saw two full grown men and a teenage boy...staring at her...while she lay in bed...with barely anything on....Uh-oh....  
  
  
  
With a piercing scream like a train whistle, Severus pulled the sheets over body and chased them out.  
  
  
  
"GetoutgetoutgetoutGETOUT!,"she screeched, pounding on their heads with her shoe.  
  
Remus, being the smart one of the bunch, tried to cast a body binding spell, only to have his words mussed up as Severus hit him in the face with her shoe.  
  
  
  
The spell, now s0mething unknown, shot out of Remus wand (no, not THAT wand you perverted freaks!) and hit Severus in the stomach, causing her to fall over, once again covered by the sheets.  
  
  
  
As the smoke cleared (this is an expression, people. There wasn't really any smoke. Just shoe marks on faces and pain), the three looked to the floor to see the sheet covered lump that was Severus.  
  
"Owww,"Remus moaned, rubbing his right cheek where the shoe had hit him...poor little cutie...  
  
The mass of sheets stirred and a moan penetrated the air.  
  
"What the hell?"  
  
Sirius' eyes went wide. He recognized that voice.  
  
"Sev's back,"he muttered,"Come on, guys. Let's go before he-"  
  
"Lupin, waht did you do?!,"a baratone voice yelled,"I-...Hey!...My voice....MY BODY!...I'M ME AGAIN!"  
  
  
  
Once again, we take witness to another, yet much more disturbing, happy dance...The mere image is poisoning our minds...Ewwww...  
  
Harry, being the most humble and shy of the bunch, blushed in embarrassment for his professor.  
  
"Okay, enough dancing, Severus said, magicking himself a pair of robes and putting them on,"Now, OUT!"  
  
  
  
Harry, Remus, and Sirius were instantly thrown out onto thier rather cute behinds...  
  
~A Month Later~  
  
The school year had started again. Remus was once again teaching DADA, and Severus was angry about it. To make it worse, Sirius was now teaching Charms, as Flitwick had had a very...nasty accident over the summer involving wart removal charms and cherry soda...Don't even ask.  
  
Anyways, the school had returned to normal...or at least whatever you wanna consider normal with the people we're dealing with.  
  
Students worked and complained about Severus. Sirius and Remus pulled pranks. Harry was short and adorable and Albus....Let's not hurt Harry's eyes anymore, okay?  
  
  
  
...And the chibi/shemale incident had got forgotten...Or at so Severus thought...  
  
One day, on his way to breakfast in the Great Hall, Severus passed by a rather degrading photo hanging from the ceiling by the boys bathroom.  
  
...A picture of a mysterious black haired woman that looked bit like Mariah Carey...  
  
"Oh shit,"Sev muttered.  
  
He pulled the pictured down and crumpled it.  
  
...But as soon as he did, he spotted another one on the floor.  
  
Crumpling that one up, he found another...  
  
....And another...  
  
...And another...  
  
...And another...  
  
...Until....  
  
He reached the Great Hall.  
  
He looked up to the Head Table and saw the same picture hanging above his seat, blown up to about 200 times its size with the words "She-Male Snape" in glowing green letteres on top.  
  
Severus, in shock, did not notice the giggles and sniggered and pointing fingers...  
  
He only notice Sirius and Remus laughing.  
  
With a look of pure rage, Severus ran up to the werewolf and ex-con.   
  
"I'LL KILL YOU!,"he yelled.  
  
Remus and Sirius, almost screaming in fear, ran away. But not until....  
  
"Chibus!,"Severus yelled, his wand (no, not THAT wand, you perverts! Jeez!) pointing towards them.  
  
With a flash of baby blue light, the two men shrunk down to...CHIBIS! YAY! ^_^  
  
Sirius, who had been enjoying his aduly for again, sat down on his chibby chibi behind and....sobbed.  
  
He sobbed.  
  
He cried.  
  
He wailed.  
  
He-  
  
"SHUT UP!,"Sirius yelled,"CAN'T YOU SEE I'M HAVING A BAD MOMENT HERE!"  
  
Well jeez...Sor-RY, Mister Chibi.  
  
Suddenly Hermione walked over.  
  
"Aw! You and Remus don't look happy Sirius. How about a song!"  
  
Remus and Sirius looked at each other in fear.  
  
"ABCD-"  
  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"  
  
~:~Fin~:~  
  
Sandy~The end, people!  
  
Vicky~Das it!  
  
Sandy~It's finished!  
  
Vicky~...You know what this means, right?  
  
Sandy~...Umm...Party?  
  
Vicky~No....SNUGGLE THE CHIBIS! ^__^  
  
Chibi Remus~O.O....Aw man, not again!  
  
Chibi Sirius~NOOOOOOOOO!  
  
Sandy and Vicky~::drag the chibis away::  
  
BYE PEOPLE! REVIEW AND READ OUR OTHER STORIES! ^_^ 


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